Jeff Tiedrich writes one of the funniest blogs I’ve seen. He uses the F word liberally, and as you know, that is a no-no here. This one made me laugh so much that I decided to share it with you. With a few words clipped. This is not the entirety of his column. Open the link.
He writes:
when world leaders meet, do you think they draw straws, and the loser has to go to the White House to do a press conference with Donny Convict?
at this point there’s no other logical reason why someone with a country to run would step onto an airplane and fly halfway around the world to sit next to a halfwit.
what’s the upside? best case scenario, you’re stuck there with a fake smile plastered on your face as Commander Crazypants blithers incoherently, and you get to go home without sparking a major international incident. worst case, you end up like Zelensky, tag-teamed by Donny and some shithead who f—s furniture.
the thing is, you never know what you’re getting yourself into — and yesterday was Irish Prime Minister Micheál Martin’s turn to play Batshit Bingo.
hey, here’s a little-known fun fact: did you know that the Article II powers of the US Constitution confer upon a president the ability to decide who gets to be a Jew?
I shit you not.
“Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I’m concerned. he’s become a Palestinian. He used to be Jewish. he’s not Jewish anymore. he’s a Palestinian.”
oh, how charming. with the implication that there’s something terrible about being a Palestinian, Donny manages to be both antisemitic and bigoted at the same time. talk about efficiency in government!
at this point, Prime Minister Martin must be eyeing the exits and reassessing every life choice that brought him to this moment.
well, hold onto your hat, Micheál — it gets batshittier.
“everything is transgender. everybody is transgender. that’s all you hear about.”
f…king hell, not this evil bullshit again. Donny’s got transgender on the brain. was there even a context for this? how does transgender come up in conversation with the leader of Ireland? ‘hey Micheál, was St. Patrick trans?’
no, everyone isn’t transgender. less than one percent of the population identifies as trans. it’s a rounding error away from zero. the only reason that it’s “all you hear about” is that Donny and the Republicans never shut the f..k up about it.
enough with this imaginary moral panic. look how upside f..king down our world has become: last week, cops in Phoenix followed some woman into a Walmart bathroom for the unspeakable crime of not appearing adequately feminine.
I’ll bet PM Martin never imagined he’d be sitting next to a madman and listening to him whine about Barack Obama.
“Obama was a disaster. you know, they have with Obama, he gave them sheets. and I gave them anti-tank missiles. you know that, right? it’s called javelin. you know the javelin? I’m the one that gave them the javelins. people don’t say that. and then they say, ‘oh, Trump has a great relationship with Russia.” I’m the one that gave them the javelins. Obama gave them sheets. it’s an expression. he gave sheets, I gave javelins.”
sheets? what on God’s green earth is Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants on about with Obama and sheets?
this: “Obama gave sheets” is a fever-swamp hallucination that Donny has been yammering about for literal years. to hear Donny tell it, the sum total of Obama’s foreign aid to Ukraine was a pile of tatty old bed linens. of course, it’s a delusional, but what else is new?
and by the way, Donny gave javelin missiles to Ukraine after he got impeached for trying to extort Zelensky by withholding them. weird how Donny always leaves that part of the story out.
but Donny remains obsessed with Obama. how ironic is it that he and his tyrant Klansman father were fined by the federal government for refusing to rent their apartments to black people, and now Barack Obama gets to live rent-free in Donny’s head?
